13 March 2015

FEC Senior Love (b)

Lest anyone think FEC is a whirlpool of suspicion, protest, paranoia, and pet obsession, it is. there is a kinder, gentler side. As when the hand sanitizers were installed and not one person thought up a complaint about them. Or when Blanche went missing and those with clear minds and sturdy legs mobilized to search the neighbourdamhood.  ⃰

The Inmates' Committee (IC) works hard to promote harmonious social events. Other than Festivus and anything with free food, organized social gatherings meet with limited success. The geriatrics inmates residents don't care to be seen dancing with each other. In public. Nevertheless, the IC cannot regulate individual behaviours. Certain privacy laws place questionable personal activities firmly under the heel of Simon the Manager, a link above Mr. OC in the Chain of Command (to Mr. OCD's regret). But neither has any control over the thriving rumour mill.

For instance, everyone knows about the gypsies Dominic thinks are a big secret. Bella stopped whining about them since she developed a huge crush on the flamboyant one we call Carmen; Bella has taken to wearing extravagant, atrocious earrings newly revealed by wild tossing of her hair. Word has it that Dominic continues to escort a much shadier lady in and out of the elevator after midnight, motivating Simon to work his way through a paper jungle of eviction forms. Speaking of that, the elevators have seen it all. George is going to be slapped into court if his plan to install a hidden camera works out.

Daphne used to ride the elevator for a couple of hours a day, hoping for a romantic encounter but now she thinks she is getting sext messages from a guy on the 8th floor. He calls himself Bad Hat Harry, she confided nervously to an ever-wider circle of BFFs. Jeremy said she's delusional but Fragrant Elayne said go for it. The two of them are making a list of every man on the 8th floor with a view to methodically eliminating the gays and the comatose.

Then there's Randall the welfare pest, every woman's nightmare. Stinking and starving about a week before the government cheque arrives, he regularly canvasses female neighbours for a handout. If you so much as answer the door he blatantly generously offers (what he thinks is) a fair exchange: a testosterone tuneup. Reports are circulating that retail sales of water pistols to senior ladies have skyrocketed.

When Mildred first arrived at FEC, Luther fell immediately in love and the courtship raged hotly from her floor to his until one day she forgot her meds and woke up in his place screaming that he stole her purse. So of course Simon had to get involved, some external personnel were fetched, and Mildred had a forced period of rehab. 

Mouthy Monica had a hip replacement that interrupted her frequent rendezvous with Louis that she thought no-one knew about. Their meetings were contingent on how steady or shaky Louis might be, any given day, on dismounting his scooter and mounting Monica. He visited her a bit prematurely after her surgery and as luck would have it, her cat decided enough was enough. Said cat streaked maliciously across his feet and Louis flailed, toppling all 270 pounds of himself onto the bed that crashed sideways, dumping Monica to the floor on her mending hip. The paramedics had to come to check things out and sedate Monica but they said it was not their job to pick up Louis and move him back to his own apartment. Naturally, by this time a medium-size crowd had gathered in the corridor.

Rockin' with love we are. No secrets.

Another reckless feckless day in the life. Dear heavens.

Blanche was located by Sheila's search-and-rescue team on the church steps chatting to a dog. She lost herself on her way to the grocery store via the Hearty Tartan pub and made many new friends.

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