10 May 2012

Policy Statement

I’ll get to that in a minute.

So why did I call it The FAMDAMILY anyway? You don’t see me whinging on about errant children, obtuse in-laws, and the latest cute trick the baby learned (no baby photos, please!). That includes the extended siblings, cousins, and anyone’s babbling, drooling offspring. While I am safely removed from much of it in geographical context, thanks to the convenience of social media I can very well extrapolate what they are all Up To.

That’s right. The FAMDAMILY is always with you no matter what. Like lint and age spots freckles, they cling without any encouragement whatsoever and when you least expect it. Consuming every known method of communication media and endless annoying amounts of time that could be more productive spray painting graffiti across from Loblaws (or something) unless you develop a metaphorical lint roller and/or learn to live in the full glare of the sun. Similar to the challenge of contests for creating the longest sentence and counting how many times a celebrated author wrote “off of” instead of “off,” I enjoy mixing metaphors. 

It must be time to reflect on the mission of this blog, its raison d’être, the nobility of purpose fer gawd's sake. Other than the writer’s unremitting and sometimes mindless need to write. What more perfect fodder than family foibles and follies? Bien sûr, all events and identities to be cautiously altered.

Be it known that:
I reserve the right to employ hyperbole, chicanery, exaggeration, embroidery, and the entire gamut of literary licence. That includes the right to make fun, fictionalize, satirize, demonize, and fantasize. The (actually) dearly beloved may not even realize what they’re Up To until I tell them.

There. All comments graciously received. If you think family is sacred, or scared as I first typed it (occupational hazard with two fingers), you may be half-right and I’ll listen to you anyway.  
   
Nonetheless, nothing will change with the continuance of boring good things I read, stupid things I do, and urban warfare life in The NEIGHBOURDAMHOOD. The latter is a lot easier than trying to delicately  diplomatically disguise family stories. Oh crap, you can see must be in word trouble already. It just seems I’ve been slacking on a potentially bountiful midden.    

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