15 December 2011


Massage must be mankind's greatest gift to mankind. With a gifted therapist (and sometimes it's trial and error) your aches and pains are Swedishly stroked away. Whether the effect lasts for a few hours or a few days, peace in the brain flows from hands-not-your-own bestowing physical kindness.

Don't get all porno on me. This is serious.

Do you know anyone who doesn't have neck and shoulder tension? I expect by the time we are 80 it will be a full time job for our decrepit necks to keep our heads from wobbling and falling off.

Good massage therapists not only alleviate stressed-out muscles, they have techniques to fix tendons that go awry. This drunk stepped on my foot one night (wasn't feeling any pain myself till the next day) and a creepy knot appeared under my ankle. Never mind the pain and limping. An alarming knot, the size of a camel's eyeball. My committed therapist worked at it on and off for a week and it all disappeared. Since it was one of the two feet I need for dancing, this was in the nature of a minor miracle.

Doctors couldn't do that. Don't get me started on doctors.

A few earnest massueuses go a little overboard on the holistic. They gang up with chiropractors and related alternate practitioners to sell you massive vitamins and herbal remedies for alarming deficiencies you didn't know you had.

There is absolutely no way you can massage your own head the way a trained therapist does it. Well OK, some hairdressers are better than others, but still a pale shadow of the real deal. Headache gone. Float home.

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